I only realised I was pregnant because overnight my eating habits were forced to change. It felt as if an alien was suddenly in charge of my body!

My son was born seriously jaundiced so we were hospitalised for 10 days till his bilirubin levels normnalised. He is A-

He has just told me (today) that he is to be a father. His partner same blood group as me … (but not him) she …is sick, sick sick….and just past her first trimester…

I too had that thought about Rhesus factors.. and that is how I found your post…

Thank you so much for your thoughtful post. It is true when I reread it from that perspective it changes the message quite a bit! I am stepmother to 4 adult children who all came to live with their father and me each in their early teens – those years when they began thinking for themselves. They did complain of the same things growing up that the original post states. And where I may go back and handle some situations differently, I do believe we all came out of it ok.

My complaint is with parents who believe children have to do whatever they tell them to in order to avoid harsh controlling behavior by them. They don’t trust their children can make a wise decision and they may be absolutely right because they’ve never afforded their child the ability to learn how to do that. Children also tend to behave negatively if a parent treats them with disrespect which just exaggerates the issue.

Thank you for your perspective. I totally agree that sometimes as caring parents, who enforce rules in a respectful manner, and are active in their child’s upbringing, can by interpreted as behaving how the original post speaks by their precious children.

Naomi

Teenagers tend to object to normal, necessary, and kind parental interaction if it involves basic things like needing to know where they’re going, who they’re with, what they’ll be doing, when they’ll be home, and how they’ll get from A to B, for example. Insisting on knowing these things is not parental abuse–let us be very clear on that–but teens with a teensy bit of rebellion going will often call you a “stalker” and tell you you’re “flipping out” and “driving [them] insane”, that you are their “worst nightmare” and you’re “hunting [them] down like a bloodhound,” etc. These are THEIR words, not a parent’s words, and perhaps they should be in quotes in the original to make that clear.

When you read the original text in this light it’s really very accurate, and speaks to responsible parents who have raised and are raising tough teenagers. The thing is, three to five years later these same young people are alive, perhaps in part because of your vigilance, and they begin to mature into beautiful people with whom you can enjoy the rest of your years.

It’s okay to have a rough patch if you come out of it intact, and whether you’re ready for it or not, you’ll likely be handed a rough patch that challenges all of your rosy plans, and you’ll have to be stronger than you ever thought. You might get called names by the babies you’ve nurtured with nothing but love for the first 13 years; they might sneak out the window at night and come back with alcohol on their breath in the hands of a police officer; they might fall off of the honor roll; they might get involved with others who introduce really bad things to them; they might “fall in love” with a young abuser-in-training; they might cost you thousands and thousands of dollars in legal fines, and treatment plans, and counseling sessions;they might wreck your car; they might steal your money; they might betray you in ways you cannot imagine. But they’re still your precious kids, and you love them. You might find yourself realizing that being a supportive friend who allows them freedom and space to figure things out in a nurturing environment is great in theory, but may not be effective enough for the immediate situation. You might find yourself wading right into the thick of a nasty situation and taking charge just to rescue the child you love from very real danger. And you might be called overpossessive or a control freak of some kind by others with the luxury of being bystanders, but you will have saved your precious child because you love him or her. If that child is afforded the luxury of growing up and maturing into your best adult friend because of your actions at that time, then it was worth the heartache and the cost and the risk of being called a politically incorrect name. You won’t even care about that at that point. When I read the original post, this is what I understand it to be, and I absolutely agree.

I apologize for the rant, and you’re free to ignore me if you don’t like what I have to say–hey, I mastered the art of not being bugged by that by raising my teens! I simply speak from experience, with what is perhaps a little different perspective than others on this thread. Thanks for reading.