Eliana will turn three this year, so it’s about time I get this story in writing! I’ve told it so many times already that the story should just fly from my fingers. When I was taking my Birthing Doula class, I learned that a mother will remember even the smallest details of her children’s birth stories for many many years. Even-so, I think I should get this written now. 
If you haven’t read my posts in my Pregnancy section, you may want to start there first for a little background.
I shared at the end of my First Pregnancy post:
Everything was quiet until midnight on July 11th (night of July 10th). It was as if my body was watching the clock…
Tick, tick, tick, midnight – burst!
My water burst (not broke) while I was sleeping. I sat up with a shriek and my husband jumped up – “What is it, what is it?” “I think my water just broke!” “What do I do?” “Get me a towel!”
Our baby was going to arrive soon!!
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So the first thing I did after covering myself with a towel and changing was call my Midwife. Since I was planning to deliver in a hospital, my Midwife told me to try to go back to sleep until my contractions were closer to 4 minutes apart. She didn’t want the hospital trying to hurry things along since my water had already broken. My contractions at the time were about 10 minutes apart. I went back to bed and did manage to get some sleep in between the 10 minute breaks. I let my husband sleep as well. Around 6:30am I got up and took a shower like I would on any other day getting ready for work. I did my hair, put on my makeup, all the usual. All the while experiencing contractions that were about 6 minutes apart and starting to get pretty intense. I woke my husband and let him know that we needed to start getting ready to head to the hospital. By the time he was done showering, my contractions were 4 minutes apart. It was definitely time to go!
We took the Eclipse so that the kids could drive the Stratus to the hospital later. There were more of them than us. Driving the Eclipse was a very bad idea. It exaggerated every bump on our dirt road and I thought I was going to throw up from the pain. We stopped at Burger King on the way – at this point I was getting close to 3 minutes apart per contraction! I tried to eat something, but the food in my stomach just made me nauseous. During the drive, I had Bryan pull over because I thought I was going to throw up. I tried to drink some liquids at least, but that wasn’t very pleasant either.
Finally, we arrived at the hospital around 8am. My contractions were definitely two minutes apart then and lasting a good minute. The hospital had a ton of papers that I needed to sign for check-in along with questionnaires, etc. Really?? I could hardly think and they expected me to sign my name? Ha! I managed to get through it and write mostly legibly. At one point, the pain from the contractions got so bad that I had to go to the bathroom. My body tends to respond to pain by getting rid of everything in my guts and stomach. I managed to keep things down, but pushing on the toilet was the most comfortable I had felt all morning. Bryan eventually had to come talk me into coming out of the bathroom.
I made it up to my room – somehow – wheelchair? – and the nurse gave me a hospital gown to change into. Once again, I sat on the toilet for awhile. Again, they talked me into getting up. I remembered while taking my natural birthing class that sitting on the toilet was one of the positions they had us practice. It seemed like the most awkward position at the time, but it really was the most comfortable for me that day!
Because I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, they had to hook Eliana up to the heart monitor to make sure everything was OK. Bryan gave me a glass of water and 2 minutes later, I threw it up. He was so fast too. I started saying, “I’m going to throw up – throw up!” And wham, he had a bed pan in front of me a second later. Apparently he had taken inventory as soon as we came in and knew where everything was. That’s my Hubby, the amazing Medic.
I wasn’t able to keep anything down after that. Every time I would sit up to ease the pain, Eliana’s heart rate would plummet and the nurses would have me lie back again. This kept me tied to the bed, so no sitting in the tub or walking for me like I had hoped. It seemed the only position that would keep her heart steady was lying on my back or left side. This was extremely ironic to me, since I’m the first to tell women to “not lie on your back during labor!” Lying on our backs while in labor doesn’t help the baby get into the position it needs in order to come out properly – face down with the back of the head guiding. The weight of the baby’s back causes her to role with her back against the Mother’s and this is not the right position for an easy delivery… Hindsight tells me that I may have been able to get on all fours with my head down on the bed and still have kept her heart rate steady. The bed was so small, I had cords hanging off me everywhere, I was in serious pain, and I was worried about my baby that this thought didn’t even cross my mind. I just followed orders. My Midwife was worried that the umbilical cord was around my baby’s neck, so at one point she called in the Doctor for a consult. She decided to try filling me up with water to see if this took pressure off of the umbilical cord. I think the fact that my water burst – not broke – caused the umbilical cord to go down near my birth canal so anything in a vertical position put pressure on it.
Filling me up with water worked, but I didn’t know that. I was in my own world. In fact a lot probably happened while I was coping with the pain – conversations, visits, etc – that I probably was completely unaware of. I couldn’t move much to cope with the pain. Every now and then Bryan would rub my lower back which helped tremendously, but for the most part, my pain coping mechanism was closing my eyes and completely going internal. I completely shut out the sounds outside of my body besides Eliana’s heart beat. I focused on Eliana’s heart beat playing loudly on the monitor and pushed the pain from my body. There were times where I opened my eyes and was overwhelmed by the light and people present which caused the pain to rush back in. I would quickly close my eyes and find my focus again.
About 9 hours in, I was so dehydrated from being able to keep nothing down that they hooked me up to a Saline IV. They put the IV in my hand – of all places! This proved to be a poor place later when I started pushing. Around 9:30am I started feeling constant pain. I knew that Eliana had flipped and was in the sunny side up position. I learned in my natural birthing class that if the baby is in the sunny side up position, my back will feel like it is splitting in half and I wouldn’t have any relief between contractions. This was definitely the case. My goal was to birth completely naturally, but I was in so much pain that I was quickly becoming exhausted. I knew that there was no way I would be in any shape to run this marathon if I wasn’t able to get some rest. I went ahead and asked for something mild. I was only 4cm dilated, which was disheartening to say the least, so I figured I had many hours to go. The kids and Bryan’s Mom came in some time during this peak pain period and I remember seeing the concern on their faces, especially Jessica’s. She looked at me like I was dying. I would peek out one-eyed and try to look pleasant but would close my eyes and internalize once again because of the pain.
Around 10am, they gave me Fetinyl through my IV. Fetinyl is a morphine type drug. The longest it usually lasts is about an hour and I was lucky to have it last that long. It didn’t ease the pain at all but it knocked me out between contractions allowing me to ignore the pain, so I actually felt like I got some rest. About 45-60 minutes later, the pain was back and I was wide awake. I felt like I had gained a second wind. I could cope with the pain much easier. I was more hydrated and I didn’t feel near as shaky as I had an hour before.
When I spoke to my Midwife just after midnight, I told her that I thought I would have this baby by noon. She giggled and agreed that I was probably right. I remember looking up at the clock around 11:45am and realizing there was no way she’d be born by noon. I had to laugh to myself, because it seemed like 5 minutes later when my body started involuntarily trying to push and I was making grunting sounds. My Midwife ran over and checked my dilation again – I was only around 6cm 30 minutes before and pushing when not fully dilated could cause some issues! She learned that I was fully dilated (10cm) and ready to go. Bryan shooed the kids and whoever else out. The nurse, Midwife, and Bryan (as far as I knew, I didn’t open my eyes) gathered and I started pushing. Again – I was instructed to stay on my back…
I pushed with each contraction and everyone did really well supporting me and coaching me on how to push. I didn’t experience any pain while I was pushing, so I was usually reluctant to stop and rest. The nurse kept telling me to push up towards the ceiling. Each time I would get this right, they would all tell me what a good job I was doing. At some point I peeked my eyes open and learned that my husband’s Mother was still in the room. I knew she was in there earlier, but everyone got shooed out when it was time to push. I remember being pleased she was still there. It felt nice to have another woman I knew in the room with me. My Midwife was amazing too. She was like a cheerleader and if it weren’t for her cheering and kind encouragement, I think I may have lost steam early on.
While I was pushing someone kept bumping the IV in my hand while they were helping me hold up my leg and I screamed – “OW!” My Midwife kindly said, “I know it hurts, Hon, you’re doing great!” I said, “No! My hand!” I was managing the pain in my body but the pain in my hand came out of nowhere and totally broke my focus. It felt much worse because I was so focused elsewhere. I think this was one of the only times they heard me. I was so internalized that I mostly just grunted and was very quiet. As Eliana got closer to coming out, I kept asking Bryan – is she sunny side up? I was in so much pain before pushing that I thought to myself how naive I was for thinking I could do this naturally! It hurt like hell! If she was sunny side up, I would feel better about myself, because I was still doing well for being in so much pain if that were the case. When her head started to surface everyone assured me that she was not sunny side up. I felt like a total wimp.
After about 60 minutes of pushing, I started to get tired. I was working so hard to get her out as fast as I could because I was SO scared they would suggest a c-section due to the issues I was having earlier. I still didn’t know that her heart rate dropping during the contraction and pushing was normal so each time it would drop, it would motivate me to keep working hard and I would push with all my might. After about 75minutes of pushing, my contractions started getting further apart. My Midwife gave me Pitocin to bring them back. I never felt the Pitocin kick-in, so I started breathing hard after a small rest and then start pushing. The contraction would come and take over and I would make some progress.
They kept asking if I wanted a mirror and I said no, because I was imagining with each push that I would get further and further down her face before she went back in. I knew this wasn’t the case and seeing the proof in a mirror I thought would kill my motivation.
I wasn’t able to get her head out, so my Midwife gave me an episiotomy. My Mom had told me that if this is ever suggested, to do it. The times she has torn she said were not pleasant, but the episiotomies always healed nicely. Bryan and I had discussed this early on, so he just checked in to make sure I was still OK with it. I was and the cut felt like relief compared to the pressure I was feeling. Bryan whispered in my ear that she was a blondie and this made me smile and cry. It gave me the strength to keep pushing.
With the next push, I was able to get her head out and you should have heard everyone’s surprise when my little girl was staring up at them. She WAS sunny side up after all! I remember the gasp scared me at first, but then they laughed and said she IS sunny side up. I didn’t feel like a wimp anymore.
My Midwife checked to make sure the umbilical cord wasn’t around Eliana’s neck and then she let Bryan move in position to catch her. I didn’t have to push much and I felt Bryan slide her shoulders out. Once her shoulders were out, it felt like she rushed out and in my mind I saw her sliding down the table as if she were on a slip and slide. She was born at 1:46pm.
Bryan put Eliana on my stomach and I opened my eyes to look at her. She was pink in her face, but blue everywhere else. I had seen so many water birth videos that this didn’t freak me out as much as it should have. She was staring up at me with her big blue eyes and I remember wondering if I had really done it. Was I awake or dreaming? I was truly dumbfounded. Bryan ran over and gave me a kiss. I asked him if she was really a girl – he said yes (I was worried I would have to return all those pink things!) I said she really is Eliana Sage. He said, Yes she is. We had both reserved the idea to change her name if it didn’t fit her when we saw her, but I knew it was her when we finally decided on her name at 8 months pregnant!
Eliana - July 11, 2008
My Midwife cut the umbilical cord way too soon – probably because she was blue – and they rushed her to the bassinet on the other side of the room. I asked Bryan if she was OK, trying not to freak out and he said she would be fine. He went to the bassinet with her. I could only see them in the distance, but I could tell Bryan was being very firm. Later he told me that they wanted to rush her to the nursery because she failed her Apgar score. She was still blue and not breathing real well. Bryan said he told the nurse to let him talk to her. That she would be fine. They gave her the Vitamin K shot and she let out a scream. She then passed with flying colors. They also wanted to give her formula due to my Gestational Diabetes diagnosis. Babies born to Gestational Diabetes mothers have a tendency to crash soon after being born due to trying to overcompensate for the extra sugar in their blood. Bryan refused and said to test her blood after she nursed. He didn’t want the formula to interfere with her nursing. The nurses were shocked, but listened. To their surprised, she passed all of the blood tests they did that day and the next with no problems.
While Bryan was working with Eliana, I delivered the placenta. I asked my Midwife to check it and she said it was beautiful. I could have gone weeks with the shape it was in. This was a relief and more confirmation that I was misdiagnosed. Eliana was underweight as well, so the special diet was unnecessary. My Midwife had told Bryan’s Mom during my labor that she had quit counting after 100 deliveries a couple years ago so the next thing she said was a huge compliment. While she was sewing me up she said she was so impressed by me. She told me that she had never seen a sunny side up baby come out with only a little over an hour of pushing and without some kind of help – suction or pulling of some sort. She said on average she’s seen more like 4 hours of pushing! I’m sure only taking an hour to get her out is why Eliana’s conehead subsided in less than an hour. She had a lot of bruising on her head and shoulder, but it didn’t take long for her head to become round.
Proud Parents
When they brought Eliana to me, she latched on and nursed like a pro. Everyone was so impressed. They said we were naturals. I know that reading “Breastfeeding Made Simple” and the fact that Eliana wasn’t drugged played a huge part in this. I never experienced any pain in nursing because I knew how to get her attached properly.
New Mama Glow
I remember holding her and looking at her feeling strange that I wasn’t getting this overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement. I was so happy to have her, but I kept thinking that I was dreaming. I had dreamt about giving birth to her so many times that I was still in my pain coping stupor. I was so tired and so not with it. I just held her and tried to be interactive with everyone, but I wasn’t all there. I was beyond exhausted. James took lots of pictures and we visited for awhile. I was still hearing Eliana’s heart monitor too. I kept asking everyone if they could hear that. I believed the heart monitor must have been turned up really loud in the next room. It kept speeding up and slowing down, just like it did throughout her delivery. It wasn’t like a song stuck in my head either. I could actually hear it! Everyone kept telling me that they couldn’t hear anything. We passed Eliana around and everyone was so sweet and happy to meet her. It was lovely.
I realized when I went 2 floors away from the delivery room and could still hear the heart monitor that it was all in my head. So weird! On the way to my room, Jenna pointed out to me that Eliana had my lips. I remember that making me want to start bawling because it was so sweet.
I got settled in my room and Eliana nursed some more. After a little while the kids went home. I sent Bryan home that evening so that he could get some good sleep. That night I had a hard time getting Eliana to latch on my right side, I could only nurse her on the left. I realized the next morning it was because she had a bruise on that side. Bryan told the nurses on his way out that Eliana was going to sleep in the bed with me. They argued a little and then backed off. This wasn’t allowed in the hospital but they agreed to look the other way.
So Beautiful
Once Eliana fell asleep, around midnight, I laid her up near my face and passed out on my side with us facing each other. By then I had technically been up for 24 hours. I slept SO hard. So hard in fact that I woke up with a start 7 hours later and was so worried that I hadn’t heard her wake in the night. She was still lying just as I had positioned her, still fast asleep. I stared at her and the overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement came over me and I started bawling. We had done it! I couldn’t believe she had let her Mama sleep 7 hours. She was definitely an Angel! A few minutes later she woke up peacefully and stared into my eyes with the most content look on her face.
I couldn’t believe it. I was now a Mother. A REAL Mother. My dreams had come true.
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